Your
toddler’s intellegence; It’s all in the way you talk!
Ever doubted your parenting or your child’s behaviour? Of
course you have. But the way you talk to your child, believe it or not, makes a
big difference. Just follow this advice to ensure you’re raising a mini genius!
Between the ages of two and five, children tend to play with language, and this
is how you can influence this…
My name is Ashleigh, and I’m a former university student.
During my English Language course studying Child Language acquisition, I
carried out an investigation to see how children develop their language and how
parents can influence this. The main thing I spotted is that children tend to
copy what their parents say, and this is the reason they occasionally say
things that seem a little too grown up. Child Language Specialist, James A.
Baldwin, says “Children have never been very good at listening to their elders,
but they have never failed to imitate them”. With this in mind, it is important
that as parents, we use language with our children in mind. This is a vital
skill in this day and age; many parents make the mistake of not acknowledging
their child, while their child picks up their unfortunate habits.
All children are
different. As you probably know, some talk quickly and do not seem to stop
talking! However, many speak late and speak very rarely. Asking questions is
generally a big fault in parenting these days. Believe it or not, asking your
child what they did in school today makes a huge difference! The parents I
investigated admitted to putting their child in front of the television as a
way of entertainment and learning, rather than sitting down with their child
and asking them open questions about their day. This alone can damage a child,
due to the fact that the television will not wait for an answer from the child
or encourage a better/longer answer. It can also damage the connection between
parent and child. Some parents also make the mistake of asking simple closed
questions that only require a yes/no answer when they communicate with their
child, and this will only encourage the child to keep their answers blunt.
After telling the parents to stop asking these kinds of questions altogether
and replace them with open questions, 7 out of 10 parents said their child
seems to have more of an opinion and talk way more! Asking open questions
forces the child to think and this will develop the brain, keeping the intellectual
strength strong. Two of the mums that helped me with my investigation said it
also strengthened the bond between them and their child. Olivia Walker from
Longwell Green said “it really helped me
connect with my boy. He talks to me about school so much more since I ask him
open questions- this helped me so much.” Child language specialist Lev
Vygotsky suggested that “the important
factors in moving children to higher levels of thought are the significant and
more accomplished others around them”. This basically means it’s you that
determines your child’s thinking! You determine your child’s brain a lot more
than you think…
As a child creeps up to around three years old, they tend to
address objects incorrectly. For example, they will say things like ‘a toys’, or just say ‘toys’. Using the word ‘a’ is something
the child has copied from the parent- but being new to the language, they are
unaware that there are two types of these words called ‘definite articles’. As a parent, it’s your job to make sure you
spend a lot of time with your child, and make sure you exaggerate things like ‘the dogs’ or ‘a dog’. After doing my investigation I made 10 women try this over
a two week period; 8 out of 10 said they noticed their child using the correct
article more often than just skipping it. Some parents feel that the correct
way to discipline their child is to say ‘don’t
do this’ and ‘don’t do that’…this
is wrong! Some mothers used in my investigation had admitted they had been
doing this previously and then their children had continued doing what they had
been told not to do- and doing it worse. You must approach the situation with
reverse psychology, only saying the correct way and eventually the child will
realise the correct ways. Focus more on the positive things your child does,
rather than mentioning the negatives. Children appreciate praise, so saying ‘well
done, now we can do this’ will go a long way further than ‘you didn’t
do this’.
As long as your child is between the ages of 2 and 5, you
may have noticed that your child uses the word ‘my’ a lot. This is because around this stage of learning, a child
is fascinated with what belongs to whom- children are intrigued by the idea of
owning things, and so they use this word quite a lot. It’s your job to encourage
this, but at the same time, encourage sharing. Often, children use the word
‘mine’ to show power and reassure others that the object does not belong to
them…The correct approach as a parent would be to reassure the child that this
is their object, but it is okay for others to play with it too. Power is a big
aspect of a child’s upbringing; they constantly test their power and it’s your
job to determine just how much power they have. Child Language specialist
Margaret Mead suggests “children are taught
how to think, not what to think.” Quite accurate!
The main thing to note about this article
is to always be patient as a parent- never depend on the television and
teachers to do your job. Take your time with your child, and both their
language and bond with you will soar!
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